Far East travel / room service

[mannannan]

(There's not much new humour - here's one from a previous life)

Room Service: "Morny. Ruin sorbees"
Guest: "Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service"
RS: "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"
G : "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs"
RS: "Ow July den?"
G : "What??"
RS: "Ow July den?...pry, boy, pooch?"
G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."
RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?"
G : "Crisp will be fine"
RS: "Hokay. An San tos?"
G : "What?"
RS: "San tos. July San tos?"
G : "I don't think so"
RS: "No? Judo one toes??"
G : "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means."
RS: "Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"
G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine.
Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RS: "We bother?"
G : "No..just put the bother on the side."
RS: "Wad?"
G : "I mean butter...just put it on the side."
RS: "Copy?"
G : "Sorry?"
RS: "Copy...tea...mill?"
G : "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."
RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, creasebaychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??"
G : "Whatever you say"
RS: "Tendjewberrymud"
G : "You're welcome.

[UncleEbenezer]

My experience of the Far East is very limited.

But my recollection is that both the food and the English were incomparably better than represented in that story. Not that I could've afforded the kind of place that offers ruin sorbees.

[mc2fool]

(There's not much new humour - here's one from a previous life)

(Ibid)

So this English businessman attending a week long conference in a far eastern country stays in a high class ostensibly "English style" hotel, and as he wakes up on the first morning a maid rushes into the room, puts a tray with a steaming teapot and a cup down on the bedside table, and throws back the covers and gives the businessman a rapid blow job, and then rushes out.

Wow! Thinks the stunned but delighted businessman. Wasn't expecting that! Wow!

The same thing happens the next morning, and the morning after, and every morning during his stay. When he finally gets to check out he comments to the concierge how surprised but ecstatic he was with the "extra service" but the concierge looks puzzled.

So the businessman quietly and sheepishly explains what happened and the concierge replies:

"Ah! No, not extra service. Standard service. We English style hotel and understand many English hotels have gobbling teas maids...."

[stewamax]

True story.
I was working in 'foreign parts’. The laundry bag had a sticker, “please put things for laundry in the stock exchange*”

* bourse …

[UncleEbenezer]

True story.
I was working in 'foreign parts’. The laundry bag had a sticker, “please put things for laundry in the stock exchange*”

* bourse …

But if you're a foreigner using the stock exchange for your laundry, don't neglect your Party donations, lest they use the Magnitsky Act to rob the shirt from your back!