The Lemon Fool

In my morning post there was a flyer from somebody called Pure Cremation.
The envelope was marked Time Sensitive.
I am now all of a nervous fidget: do they know something I don't?

stewamax wrote:In my morning post there was a flyer from somebody called Pure Cremation.
The envelope was marked Time Sensitive.
I am now all of a nervous fidget: do they know something I don't?

Are you in competition with a lettuce?

stewamax wrote:In my morning post there was a flyer from somebody called Pure Cremation.
The envelope was marked Time Sensitive.
I am now all of a nervous fidget: do they know something I don't?

In days of old the Time Sensitive bit was getting money in before the FCA catch up with them, but company no 9906976 does appear to be legit

Paul

They sell funeral plans for direct* cremation.
And if I subscribe now, I can be entered into a ££wonderful Prize Draw

Since, however, direct cremation is less than half the price of an attended cremation, subscribing for a funeral plan seems more and more pointless for all but the indigent


* - undertaker collects the body and it is the last you see of it, although ashes can optionally be returned.

stewamax wrote:Since, however, direct cremation is less than half the price of an attended cremation, subscribing for a funeral plan seems more and more pointless for all but the indigent


* - undertaker collects the body and it is the last you see of it, although ashes can optionally be returned.

Wasn't that the scenario at that Hull undertakers' recently? (https://uk.news.yahoo.com/hull-funeral- ... 08519.html)

The gist of it was that the funeral took place with no service, no mourners and possibly (although not always) somebody from the funeral parlour. The fabulous lottery offered you the star prize opportunity to be put in a box on a total stranger's mantelpiece.

BJ

BTW, I just thought I'd add that when I opened stewamax's most recent post in this thread, an advert came up:

Don't even think about solar panels until you've read this.

That's tasteful, I thought, and ever so novel. It's a good job they weren't advertising garden incinerators.

BJ

bungeejumper wrote:BTW, I just thought I'd add that when I opened stewamax's most recent post in this thread, an advert came up:

Don't even think about solar panels until you've read this.

That's tasteful, I thought, and ever so novel. It's a good job they weren't advertising garden incinerators.

BJ

Never understood why people want to incinerate their gardens ...

stewamax wrote:* - undertaker collects the body and it is the last you see of it, although ashes can optionally be returned.

and if you are prepared to book the body into the crem directly, you can cut out undertakers completely. Wrap the body in a (clean!) "shroud" (aka a bed sheet), deliver to crem on a pallet in a van.

they do the cremation very early (I was told 0600!) with no service, no mourners and you collect the ashes a few days later.

When i looked at this a couple or so years back, including the doctors certificates (two doctors) the totally DIY funeral for your deceased was about a grand.

didds wrote:and if you are prepared to book the body into the crem directly, you can cut out undertakers completely. Wrap the body in a (clean!) "shroud" (aka a bed sheet), deliver to crem on a pallet in a van.

Oh aye, our vet does all that. Free of charge, too, unless it's a horse. But vans are a little downmarket, don't you think? A Ford Fiesta gives the corpse a much more comfortable ride.

BJ

bungeejumper wrote:

didds wrote:Wrap the body in a (clean!) "shroud" (aka a bed sheet), deliver to crem on a pallet in a van.

Oh aye, our vet does all that. Free of charge, too, unless it's a horse. But vans are a little downmarket, don't you think? A Ford Fiesta gives the corpse a much more comfortable ride.

BJ

I couldnt fit the pallet into a ford fiesta...

didds wrote:

bungeejumper wrote:But vans are a little downmarket, don't you think? A Ford Fiesta gives the corpse a much more comfortable ride.

I couldnt fit the pallet into a ford fiesta...

My mate Horace the conjuror could sort that little problem for you. But you'd have to promise not to look.

BJ

didds wrote:... if you are prepared to book the body into the crem directly, you can cut out undertakers completely. Wrap the body in a (clean!) "shroud" (aka a bed sheet), deliver to crem on a pallet in a van. They do the cremation very early (I was told 0600!) with no service, no mourners and you collect the ashes a few days later. When I looked at this a couple or so years back, including the doctors certificates (two doctors) the totally DIY funeral for your deceased was about a grand.

Correct on all points.

Because attended cremations are held at 'more reasonable' hours, direct cremations are indeed held in the slack time early in the day and the crematorium has the latitude to schedule when most convenient for them. Remember though that there may be a delay of a week or two, so for anyone who dies at home, keeping the body there in summer without a chill cabinet has some obvious downsides.

A coffin isn't necessary, and the only legal requirement is that the body is covered. But for handling at the crematorium and in transit, something rigid is needed to support the body. Stout cardboard coffins at circa £170 are widely used by the ecologically minded.

When someone dies at home, a death verification certificate is issued either by a doctor or one of the NHS contract verifiers. They are merely confirming that the deceased is really dead, and the certificate allows an undertaker (if you use one) to remove the body. The medical certificate of cause of death is issued by the doctor who last attended the deceased or who had been seeing them regularly, and for cremation (but not burial) this doctor must also complete a medical cremation certificate (a 'form 4'). Until COVID, a second doctor had to do likewise (on a 'form 5') and I believe that this largely unnecessary bit of bureaucracy has sensibly not been reinstated - good news for DIYers as you would otherwise need to find a second doctor who by law must not be from the same practice or otherwise associated with the first one.
The cause of death certificate is usually sent electronically by the GP to the local Registrar who will issue the death certificate itself and after registration will issue a disposal certificate for the crematorium.

A direct cremation even via an undertaker should not cost more than around £1200 (outside London).

As an aside, given the plethora of forms that need to be completed and interchanged, cremator booked and so on, how do Hindus manage to cremate within the traditional 24 hours after death?