The Lemon Fool

I can't quite put my finger on it, but something appears to be missing from this board.

I think it starts with a C and ends with a kid.

Good luck to everyone.
I really hope this workks

Jon

Snorvey wrote:Think that's what CK said.

Rec function can't come quick enou!

Meatyfool..

Snorvey wrote:I think he's having a camera shoved up his jacksy today.

Aye, and having also had one, I can empathise with his feelings regarding the "preparatory work" he endured...

Absolutely agree - spent several minutes looking for the rec button. What are all the rec tarts going to do

I had a camera shove down the other end of the digestive tract. It's no fun deep throating a camera. The sadist wielding the implement of torture said to relax and it wouldn't hurt..... she lied.

Some awful tasting stuff was sprayed down my throat to put my gag reflex to sleep, it didn't work. We have a gag reflex to stop people pushing cameras down our throats, it's a perfectly good reflex, one of my favourites...now.

Next thing I know camera introduced to throat, not in a nice 'how do you do' sort of way, more like a physical assault. I choked, I couldn't breathe, I retched, I cried, I whimpered. The sadist called her colleague over to inspect my insides. they chatted about the pictures and invited me to have a look.

I CANT BREATHE, I DON'T WANT TO LOOK, I WANT TO BREATHE. I'M GOING TO DIE.

"You need to breathe" advised the sadist.

I KNOW, I'M TRYING TO, I'M GOING TO DIE.

" You must breathe"

OH GOD, OH GOD. THANK GOD, THANK God.

My prayers were answered it was out, I could breathe at last. Deep lungs full of lovely air.

Half an hour later my wife picked me up from the hospital and I told her of my ordeal and the sadist who had nearly killed me.

I'm "such a baby" apparently.

sg31 wrote:I had a camera shove down the other end of the digestive tract. It's no fun deep throating a camera. The sadist wielding the implement of torture said to relax and it wouldn't hurt..... she lied.
.

I really wish I hadn't read that! I'm due for such an assault in a couple of weeks to investigate stomach pains which have now gone away completely, Sodde's Law. Until tonight, I was proceeding gaily with the words of my sister-in-law who said it was no problem with no after effects. But now, I realise it was done not to her but to her husband. I should have asked him, really.


Oh well, I'll try not to think about it, but I have a feeling that it'll be worse than both the up-the-jacksy and prostate biopsy I had. The "up-the" was fine - I just got sedated and fell asleep, didn't know a thing. The other was an exercise in relaxation while it felt like some bloke was cleaning you out with an oily rag (that was the worst part) then using a jack-hammer for a moment - 14 times. A wonderful build up of tension while the fired up the beast for the next shot, but that's where the relaxation technique comes in.

I hope CK will be here before long. If he doesn't join us, he will be really missed.
Arb.

Hi Arborbridge, you will be fine. My wife also thinks I'm a drama queen, she's probably right.

I made it! At least I think I have, I'll no doubt find out when I click on `Submit'.

I'm really impressed by what's been achieved by clariman and stooz, especially in such a short space of time, brilliant.

And now I think a visit to the Snug for a much-needed drink!

Clitheroekid wrote:I made it! At least I think I have, I'll no doubt find out when I click on `Submit'.

I'm really impressed by what's been achieved by clariman and stooz, especially in such a short space of time, brilliant.

And now I think a visit to the Snug for a much-needed drink!

Great to see you've arrived CK!

Hurrah!

sg31,

Thanks for the encouragement. I go to sleep tonight slightly more at ease.

Arborbridge wrote:

sg31 wrote: I was proceeding gaily with the words of my sister-in-law who said it was no problem with no after effects. But now, I realise it was done not to her but to her husband. I should have asked him, really.

She's probably getting revenge for child birth

Arborbridge wrote:

sg31 wrote:I had a camera shove down the other end of the digestive tract. It's no fun deep throating a camera. The sadist wielding the implement of torture said to relax and it wouldn't hurt..... she lied.
.

I really wish I hadn't read that! I'm due for such an assault in a couple of weeks to investigate stomach pains which have now gone away completely, Sodde's Law. Until tonight, I was proceeding gaily with the words of my sister-in-law who said it was no problem with no after effects. But now, I realise it was done not to her but to her husband. I should have asked him, really.


Oh well, I'll try not to think about it, but I have a feeling that it'll be worse than both the up-the-jacksy and prostate biopsy I had. The "up-the" was fine - I just got sedated and fell asleep, didn't know a thing.

I had an endoscopy a few months back (that's the deep-throat version rather than up the a*rse one ) I was offered (and accepted) sedation - which is basically something along the lines of Diazepam injected intravenously so you are still awake and respond to instructions but you don't really care what's going on, and you have no real memory of the procedure anyway. Provided you have someone available to drive you home (you can walk to the car within 30 mins of the procedure but definitely don't drive), I would recommend this!

Hi chas49, I seem to remember being offered the same thing but I needed to drive after the procedure. being a rough, tough sort of person I thought bring it on. What could possibly go wrong....

I've now realised I'm not a rough, tough sort of person, I'm a lily livered coward. Next time I'm I want the full works as sedation, general anaesthetic, local, gas and anything else that's going.

I've had both procedures, luckily the down the throat was first, 6 months later it was up the jacksy - problem was it was in the same room and same camera kit

(and great to see CK here)

I've had both procedures as well - once up the jacksie which I found quite interesting as I could see the VDU and could thus see myself from a rather different angle; and twice successfully down the throat and one failure down the throat. Apparently the difference was that although in all three instances I was sedated, on the last instance, the sedation was "weaker" and didn't work well enough so that although I knew nothing about it, I was fighting it all the way to such an extent that they had to give up. In that instance I ended up with a barium meal and X-ray.

I'm pleased to say that the rear end didn't find anything wrong, the first top end found stomach inflammation caused by NSAID pills, the second showed that the inflammation had gone following withdrawal of the NSAID pills, whilst the third eventually resulted in removal of the gall bladder and table tennis sized gall stone.

Incidently, I found the barium meal and X-ray interesting as again I could see the VDU and hence what they were looking at.

I have to say that although I fought against the third top end endoscopy, none of the others caused me any problems.

Regards,

ten0rman

For my stomach endoscopies I was offered Propofol - great stuff as I remembered nothing and recovered very quickly (30min or so).

But this was also one of Michael Jackson's drugs of choice so I will try not to overdo it.

PLS1nve5t wrote:I've had both procedures, luckily the down the throat was first, 6 months later it was up the jacksy - problem was it was in the same room and same camera kit

It's not the 6 months between you need to worry about, it's who was the last "user"

(In the absence of moderation so far, I think this thread is a little off-topic now for Legal Issues)

Aah, you people are all nesh! I've had 4 separate camera-down-the throat procedures over the years, with no sedation, just the spray in the back of the throat. It's unpleasant, though varies from operator to operator, so sometimes I gag more than others, but I went through it as I wanted to be able to drive myself home afterwards, and not bother about having someone at home with me overnight. One time, the endoscopist put the camera down, discovered that the light wasn't working properly so took it out, and once it was sorted, put it down again. Not recommended.

Also had the camera up the backside procedure, but I had to the sedative for that. I remember it all clearly - interesting to see your own insides.