Bouleversee wrote:In the meantime, in the real world, I still have to deal with my husband's estate so which damn form do I have to fill in???? I was supposed to be reading it all up this evening but the diversion has been quite entertaining.
At the risk of being accused of promoting the interests of my professional colleagues have you considered getting a solicitor to help you? From what you've said it seems a fairly simple estate, so it shouldn't cost much. Anyway, you can always get a quote before you instruct them to go ahead.
I accept that some weird people actually seem to enjoy dealing with probate themselves, and that many more do it simply to save money, which makes sense, particularly if it's a small and/or simple estate where they are the sole or main beneficiary. However, there are many things that I could do myself but I'd far rather pay someone else to do it because (1) it's work I don't enjoy; (2) it's work that needs some technical expertise that I have no wish to acquire; but most importantly (3) I'm in the fortunate position of being able to afford to pay someone to do jobs that I dislike, so that the financial cost is far more than outweighed by the pleasure of being able to spend that time doing something I want to do.
Doing my tax return is a classic example. I'm intelligent enough to be able to deal with it if I had to, but it's the type of tedious, mind-numbing, box-ticking work that drives me bonkers, so I'm more than happy to pay my accountants to relieve me of the task.
Bear in mind that the problems that you're encountering are just routine, everyday tasks to a probate solicitor, who could probably sort them out very quickly so that all you would have to do would be to sign on the dotted line.
Sometimes it's worth paying a professional just to get rid of the hassle.